A new entitlements program?

JISHOU, HUNAN — I took a break from reading literature essays (18 down, 70 to go!) to peruse what constitutes news in the USA. Some people have their underwear in knots because New York (yay!) has made same-sex marriage legal.

One crazy lady, Linda Harvey, manages to connect New York’s Constitutional exercise of states’ rights (which conservatives normally champion) with an imaginary crusade by President Barack Obama to make every American fuck like bunnies. For example,

This “freedom” will include much more than a perpetual pansexual pagan party. It will, and already does, include libel, slander, intimidation, corruption of youth, revolt in congregations, suppression of parental rights, revision of language, disease, loss of employment and loss of life.

Oh, and did I mention public sex, the porn explosion and public nudity?

Welcome to entitlement sex.

Social Security is an entitlement — the government (so far, anyway) guarantees retirees a minimal income. Medicare is an entitlement — the government (so far, anyway) guarantees retirees minimal medical coverage. Medicaid is an entitlement — the government (so far, anyway) guarantees the poor minimal medical coverage.

If I understand Harvey correctly, she is suggesting the federal government is going to guarantee everyone a minimal amount of sex. Some congressmen are already getting more than their fair share (including those who work with both sides of the aisle, if you catch my drift), so it seems the federal government has already piloted this program among elected officials. Perhaps it started during the Clinton administration. Whatever the case, it seems only fair the rest of us benefit as well.

Finally, a right wing idea the rest of us can get behind, or on top of, or something! Thank you, Linda Harvey! You’re brilliant!

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