Things I’ve learned from the debates so far

  • Mitt Romney sure can spin a yarn. Trouble is, it changes with every retelling.
  • He thinks President Obama is a little boy who lies, like Romney’s sons. (Huh?)
  • In debate #1, Obama was confusticated by the yarn spinning. In debate #2, he was not taking any more of that shit. (Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.)
  • Romney thinks Big Bird ought to get a real job, and not live off the public dole. It’s probably the same opinion he has of Obama.
  • Romney has a “binder full of women.” Cool. Is that what CEOs call a “little black book” now?
  • Yes, Obama did in fact say the Benghazi attack was “an act of terror.” Moving on now.
  • Vice-president Joe Biden likes to cut big talkers like Paul Ryan down to size.
  • Speaking of Ryan, wearing your ball cap backwards while lifting weights does not make you “hot.” Washing already clean dishes does not make you “one of the common people.” You just end up looking like a dork.

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