Sarah Palin and the Case of the Disappearing Bus Tour 1

JISHOU, HUNAN — Like a moth to a flame, I can’t resist reading about the latest Sarah Palin escapade. The Attention-Monger with a Short Attention Span™ has put her cross-country bus tour on hold and canceled a well publicized trip to Sudan. For jury duty. ** [UPDATE: In case you’re worried, she hasn’t been told to report yet, according to the Alaska Dispatch.] ** The only way anybody gets any news from the Palin camp is through her Facebook page. Her bus tour itinerary is kept more secret than a presidential motorcade’s timetable. So after the bus tour abruptly stopped, the media immediately began to wonder if she had quit the tour in midstream. Not that she’s ever quit anything in midstream before … Palin then ran to the ramparts and shot off one of her folksy Facebook updates. Imagine our surprise when reading media reports today that the “One Nation Tour” has been cancelled. Why didn’t anyone tell me? Oh, wait, that’s because it hasn’t been cancelled. (Good ol’ media… you never cease to amaze!) As I said myself at the end of the east coast leg of the tour, the summer is long, and I’m looking forward to ...

Sharpshooter Sarah is neither sharp nor a shooter 3

JISHOU, HUNAN — “Sarah’s got a gun. Sarah’s got a gun. Her new show’s just begun. Not looking for Russians. What ’bout the caribou? What did it fail to do?” (With apologies to Aerosmith) It failed to drop on her first shot, because Sarah can’t shoot. As a frontierwoman, she would starved to death on her first Alaskan winter. Watch, then read the article (link after the video). Here’s the article fisking this obviously staged hunt. Sarah Palin the Fake Hunter Will people actually believe that Palin bagged this hapless animal all by herself, thereby proving what a rough-and-tough Mama Grizzly she is? Sad to say, the answer is probably yes. Her adoring fans have absolutely no abilities at discernment. She and Dick Cheney ought to go hunting together. Ahem.
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