Things I’ve learned from the debates so far

Mitt Romney sure can spin a yarn. Trouble is, it changes with every retelling. He thinks President Obama is a little boy who lies, like Romney’s sons. (Huh?) In debate #1, Obama was confusticated by the yarn spinning. In debate #2, he was not taking any more of that shit. (Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.) Romney thinks Big Bird ought to get a real job, and not live off the public dole. It’s probably the same opinion he has of Obama. Romney has a “binder full of women.” Cool. Is that what CEOs call a “little black book” now? Yes, Obama did in fact say the Benghazi attack was “an act of terror.” Moving on now. Vice-president Joe Biden likes to cut big talkers like Paul Ryan down to size. Speaking of Ryan, wearing your ball cap backwards while lifting weights does not make you “hot.” Washing already clean dishes does not make you “one of the common people.” You just end up looking like a dork.

Sarah Palin: ESL student 2

JISHOU, HUNAN — After three weeks of reading their diaries and other compositions, I’ve been able to identify some patterns in the written English of my freshmen. They have not fully understood the need for commas, or have confused commas with periods. As a result, they start many sentences with conjunctions: “and,” “but” and “because” are the most frequent. Some who have mastered the comma and proper conjunctions use create run-on sentences. To be fair, this habit is one shared by native English-speaking students, so I can’t criticize my ESL students too much. There are sentence fragments – clauses with no verbs, for example. Sentences that abruptly change topic or subject midstream. There is occasional misuse of tenses, using past for present and present for past, and conjugations, using singular verbs for plural nouns, or vice versa. One exercise in the freshman comp book is to rewrite incorrect sentences so that they obey all the basic rules of English grammar. These sentences are usually pretty mangled, and a good eye can reconstruct them pretty quickly. Grading papers can be tedious at times, so I took a break to read the transcript of the debate between Sen. Joe Biden and Gov. ...
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