Sarah Palin and the Case of the Disappearing Bus Tour 1

JISHOU, HUNAN — Like a moth to a flame, I can’t resist reading about the latest Sarah Palin escapade. The Attention-Monger with a Short Attention Span™ has put her cross-country bus tour on hold and canceled a well publicized trip to Sudan. For jury duty. ** [UPDATE: In case you’re worried, she hasn’t been told to report yet, according to the Alaska Dispatch.] ** The only way anybody gets any news from the Palin camp is through her Facebook page. Her bus tour itinerary is kept more secret than a presidential motorcade’s timetable. So after the bus tour abruptly stopped, the media immediately began to wonder if she had quit the tour in midstream. Not that she’s ever quit anything in midstream before … Palin then ran to the ramparts and shot off one of her folksy Facebook updates. Imagine our surprise when reading media reports today that the “One Nation Tour” has been cancelled. Why didn’t anyone tell me? Oh, wait, that’s because it hasn’t been cancelled. (Good ol’ media… you never cease to amaze!) As I said myself at the end of the east coast leg of the tour, the summer is long, and I’m looking forward to ...

A little sensitive, are we?

JISHOU, HUNAN — While tracking down Magician Joe (see previous post), I logged into my Twitter account for the first time in eons. For jollies, I follow Sarah Palin on Twitter, just to see what wacky things she’ll say next. For a politician, she sure is touchy about things people say. Take this tweet, for example. Setting the Record Straight: About False Quotes Attributed to Governor Palin Posted on June 10, 2011 An absurd opinion piece in Politico includes a quote attributed to Governor Palin that is a total fabrication and yet is deliberately written to appear as if it is a legitimate direct quote. By any standard this is unacceptable even for an opinion piece. This puts us in mind of a real quote of something Governor Palin actually did once say to the media: “Quit making stuff up.” The “absurd” piece in question is “Will rivalry make Sarah Palin run?” by Politico writers Paul Goldman and Mark J. Rozell, who suggest that the popularity of Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) may convince Palin to quit being a tease and run for the GOP presidential nomination. Apparently, an editing mistake made something look like Palin said something egotistical, when in ...

Erase. Rewind.

JISHOU, HUNAN — Sarah Palin erred in one way. Wikipedia got “corrected” in another. Somehow the twain met and still exposed the weaknesses of both. If the current Wikipedia page about Paul Revere is to be trusted (the citations look solid, anyway), Paul Revere did in fact warn the British about the Massachusetts militiamen ready to fight them. But he didn’t do it at all like Palin said he did. Predictably, Palinites are declaring victory for Saint Sarah, ignoring that the truth that she’s still embarrassingly wrong about a well known moment in American history. Here’s the play-by-play. At a rally Friday in Boston, Palin told the crowd that Revere rode through town, firing shots off like John Wayne and ringing bells like Bing Crosby, to warn the British (the British –OK?) that the red-blooded colonists were not going to give up their arms to any Redcoats without a fight. Here’s the exact quote, complete with her folksy diction: “He who warned, uh, the…the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh, by ringin’ those bells and um by makin’ sure that as he’s ridin’ his horse through town to send those warnin’ shots and bells that ...

Paul Revere and Palin’s Raiders

[UPDATE: Since I wrote this post, people have also revised the Paul Revere entry at Andy Schlafly’s Conservapedia to match the Palin version of history. And the battle at Wikipedia is still going on, it seems.] JISHOU, HUNAN — Can American politics get any stranger? Alleged presidential contender and full-time media hog Sarah Palin recently mangled the story of Paul Revere in a public address, and soon after some of her fans went to Wikipedia to change the Paul Revere entry to match Failin’ Palin’s version. Because, they said, Palin is a “reliable source,” so her imaginary version of events entitles them to rewrite history. One imagines if Palin told them the Moon was made of green cheese, they’d try to rewrite its wikipedia page, too. Dumb and dumberer. In case you missed the gaffe, Palin told a crowd in Boston on June 2 that native son Revere rode through the streets toward Concord ringing bells and making a lotta noise to warn the British. “He who warned, uh, the…the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh, by ringin’ those bells and um by makin’ sure that as he’s ridin’ his horse through town to send ...

I am fed up with Sarah Palin – again, also 7

JISHOU, HUNAN — I wish she would just shut up, go back to Alaska and do whatever she did before being picked as Sen. John McCain’s running mate. Oh, wait, she can’t. She quit that job. Well, you get my point. Days after the shootings in Arizona, after a number of people remarked on her use of gun-friendly terminology and metaphors, Sarah came out of her Lower 48 igloo to post a long-winded video on her Facebook page. Here is the text, with my commentary in all-caps. I apologize in advance if I offend anyone. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Like millions of Americans I learned of the tragic events in Arizona on Saturday, and my heart broke for the innocent victims. No words can fill the hole left by the death of an innocent, but we do mourn for the victims’ families as we express our sympathy. HOLE? POOR CHOICE OF WORDS FOR GUNSHOT VICTIMS. “WE” — ARE WE QUEEN NOW? I agree with the sentiments shared yesterday at the beautiful Catholic mass held in honor of the victims. The mass will hopefully help begin a healing process for the families touched by this tragedy and for our country. BLAH BLAH BLAH — ...

Sharpshooter Sarah is neither sharp nor a shooter 3

JISHOU, HUNAN — “Sarah’s got a gun. Sarah’s got a gun. Her new show’s just begun. Not looking for Russians. What ’bout the caribou? What did it fail to do?” (With apologies to Aerosmith) It failed to drop on her first shot, because Sarah can’t shoot. As a frontierwoman, she would starved to death on her first Alaskan winter. Watch, then read the article (link after the video). Here’s the article fisking this obviously staged hunt. Sarah Palin the Fake Hunter Will people actually believe that Palin bagged this hapless animal all by herself, thereby proving what a rough-and-tough Mama Grizzly she is? Sad to say, the answer is probably yes. Her adoring fans have absolutely no abilities at discernment. She and Dick Cheney ought to go hunting together. Ahem.

Sarah “Palín” y los cojones del presidente 2

JISHOU, HUNAN — According to former Alaska governor Sarah Palin, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer has what President Obama doesn’t — balls — because Brewer dealt directly with the state’s illegal immigration problem. Since “balls” is too rude a word for such a God-fearing woman as Señora Palin to use, she instead used the Spanish slang, “cojones.” Or maybe she was trying to show off how street-wise she is. After all, Obama used “Sí, se puede,” during his campaign. Of course, Obama was trying to appeal to potential supporters who speak Spanish natively. Palin used Spanish slang to criticize Obama’s supposed inability to deal with undocumented Spanish-speaking immigrants. Was she even aware of the irony? Or the fact that Obama, as a man, is more likely to literally have cojones than Brewer (a woman, btw)? Or was she trying to make a joke? I doubt it. Here’s what she said on air Sunday, referring to the controversial Arizona state law SB 1070: Palin said on “Fox News Sunday” that Arizona’s female Republican governor has “the cojones that our president does not” when it comes to securing America‘s borders.   “This is a temporary suspension of some of the key elements in ...

Finally, a conservative who’s willing to trash Sarah Palin 5

JISHOU, HUNAN — I’ve blogged about Sarah Palin before, but I’ve avoided commentary lately because so many others do it much better. One such is Peggy Noonan, who despite being a conservative Republican, characterizes Palin as an “empty coat.” Palin’s abrupt resignation as Alaska’s governor will remove her from the national political stage and give the Republicans a chance to rebuild the party, Noonan says in her Wall Street Journal column. BUt, given the timbre of comments to Noonan’s less-than-worshipful critique of Saint Sarah, a lot of people still believe the empty coat still has a role to play in the GOP. And it’s not comic relief. Read the comments, and you’ll see what I mean. Palinites cannot see what Noonan and the rest of the civilized world can see — Palin is a egoistic bubblehead with no intellectual curiosity and no awareness of her own ignorance. To Palinites, she is infallible! She can do no wrong! She is the savior of the Republican Party! All hail Sarah Palin, thane of Wasilla! I simply don’t get it. Are people really that dumb? [Of course, as a Democrat, Palin can run for president in 2012 for all I care. She’ll lose ...

Please God, if you’re out there, please tell Sarah Palin to STFU! 6

JISHOU, HUNAN — Stand back. I’m taking a deep breath. … AAAAUUUUGGGGHHH! … There, I feel much better. I came back from playing billiards really badly tonight, sat down at my desk and decided to read the International Herald-Tribune website. And what should catch my eye? Sarah Palin blames the Bush administration for the loss of the McCain-Palin campaign. Damn, this woman is quick on the draw! It took her 10 days to figure out that maybe she and John lost because they were of the same party as W. Brilliant! With her typical lack of insight, Palin failed to recognize that they probably ran the worst presidential campaign in recent memory, and that her mere presence on the ticket killed any chance of McCain winning the presidency. It’s much easier to blame the poor sucker still occupying the White House. The IHT article follows this amazing revelation with this frightening quote: “I’m like, O.K., God, if there is an open door for me somewhere, this is what I always pray, I’m like, don’t let me miss the open door,” Palin said in an interview with Fox News on Monday. “And if there is an open door in ’12 or ...

Sarah Palin: ESL student 2

JISHOU, HUNAN — After three weeks of reading their diaries and other compositions, I’ve been able to identify some patterns in the written English of my freshmen. They have not fully understood the need for commas, or have confused commas with periods. As a result, they start many sentences with conjunctions: “and,” “but” and “because” are the most frequent. Some who have mastered the comma and proper conjunctions use create run-on sentences. To be fair, this habit is one shared by native English-speaking students, so I can’t criticize my ESL students too much. There are sentence fragments – clauses with no verbs, for example. Sentences that abruptly change topic or subject midstream. There is occasional misuse of tenses, using past for present and present for past, and conjugations, using singular verbs for plural nouns, or vice versa. One exercise in the freshman comp book is to rewrite incorrect sentences so that they obey all the basic rules of English grammar. These sentences are usually pretty mangled, and a good eye can reconstruct them pretty quickly. Grading papers can be tedious at times, so I took a break to read the transcript of the debate between Sen. Joe Biden and Gov. ...

Just call me Hussein 1

JISHOU, HUNAN — No-nothings are dragging Barack Hussein Obama’s name through the mud, alleging his middle name, especially, identifies him as an Arab and/or a Muslim. So I’ve decided we all should — at least temporarily anyway — adopt the name Hussein. One of the more inspiring stories from World War II comes from Denmark during the Nazi Occupation. The Nazis required all Jews to wear a six-pointed star. Led by the king and queen of Denmark, the Danes responded by everyone, Jew or otherwise, wearing the star. It was at once a show of solidarity, of peaceful resistance, and of rejecting prejudice. These ignorant anti-Obama Americans (see below) act as if “Hussein” is also some kind of identification badge. Rather, it is a common name — meaning “handsome” or “good” — among Arabs and Arab-Americans, much as my given names, “John” and “James” are common (in a myriad of forms) among Christians worldwide. But my names do not automatically confer upon me membership in the Christian faith. The fact that John Wilkes Booth and James Ruby were famous killers in US history does not imply I am one twice over. No, my parents honored my heritage by naming me ...

The Sarah Palin video that YouTube pulled off its site

JISHOU, HUNAN — Bruce Wilson, at Talk to Action, has been researching the connection of Gov. Sarah Palin’s churches to an extreme Christian dominionist movement called the “Third Wave.” His team posted part of their documentary on YouTube, which killed the video just as it was creeping into the top 10 most viewed clips on the site. The video, first of three parts, is now being hosted elsewhere. Christian dominionism is a polite way of saying, “Christians taking over the US government, and maybe rewriting the Constitution to include ‘Biblical’ principles.” The Third Wave movement is even more extreme in these efforts, so much so that even conservative pentecostal churches are worried. Both the Wasilla Assembly of God Church and the Juneau Christian Center appear to be part of the Third Wave movement. Wilson has many more details at Talk to Action’s website. Here’s the video, to pique your curiosity. Palin’s Churches, Thomas Muthee, Witchcraft and The Third Wave from Bruce Wilson on Vimeo.
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