The Christine O’Donnell Comedy Hour 3

[UPDATE: More late breaking unintentional humor from the O’Donnell hour: her dad was once a part-time Bozo the Clown in Philly. I am thinking of apples falling from trees here. ] JISHOU, HUNAN — My favorite bloggers have been having a field day with the Republican Senatorial candidate from Delaware, Christine O’Donnell. The woman is a veritable treasure trove of nonsense. There are two of her gems I can’t help but ridicule. China has a secret plan to take over the USA. And she knows all about it, because an unnamed non-profit organization gave O’Donnell the complete low down. Apparently, missionaries working with this mysterious group uncovered this top-secret plot. In the linked AP article, O’Donnell says this: “A country that forces women to have abortions and mandates that you can only have one child and will not allow you the freedom to read the Bible, you think they can be our friend?” she asked. “We have to look at our history and realize that if they pretend to be our friend it’s because they’ve got something up their sleeve.” Wrong, wrong and wrong. China does not force women to have abortions. But abortions are easier to get here than ...

Monkeys rewrite the King James Bible

CHONGQING — Well, not literally, but pretty close. Via DailyKos, I learned today that Conservapedia (the Bizarro version of Wikipedia) intends to take the King James Bible and rewrite it into plain modern English, making sure the new version has no “liberal bias.” The Conservative Bible will be a wiki, so it will be a group project, rather like giving a large group of monkeys enough time and equipment to recreate the works of William Shakespeare. The rationale and methodology of this ill-conceived project piece of crap are so wrong on so many levels that’s it’s hard to know where to begin. The King James Version (1611) was an English translation from the Hebrew, Latin and Greek texts then available, done entirely by members of the Church of England. It became the “standard Bible” among English-speaking Protestants, largely because of its poetic language and of the breadth of the British Empire. Conservapedia’s head simians plan to retranslate the English in the KJV translation, which is a lot like playing “Telephone” with the Scriptures. Dumb, dumb, dumb. There’s nothing wrong with retranslating the Bible. It’s been done dozens of times already. But the new versions start from the original texts, not ...

The new rightwing CO2 meme: CO2 is safe and natural

JISHOU, HUNAN — Do people forget basic science when they become Republicans? I’m not talking about understanding complex questions like global warming, stem cells or genetic engineering. I am speaking of really, really basic stuff, like knowing carbon dioxide is not safe. A couple of weeks ago, the shining star of Minnesota Republican dumbness, Rep. Michelle Bachmann, expounded on the House floor that there was no need to tax and cap CO2 emissions, because CO2 is a safe and natural gas. Humans exhale it every day, after all, she said. Now, the Mr. Big of the the GOP, Rush Limbaugh, has repeated the same meme on his ridiculously popular radio show. WTF? Sure, we exhale CO2, for a good reason. Our bodies can’t use it! It’s basic biology: breath air in, extract the oxygen, expel what our bodies don’t need. I learned this in elementary school, for pete’s sake! I thought everyone did. Logically speaking (I know, I know, considering who I am highlighting here, I am asking way too much) … Logically speaking, any idiot, if he or she took time to consider the question, would realize if humans (and other animals) could use CO2 we would NOT exhale ...
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